Brice Benefil: My personal story - Dale Carnegie’s “How to Win Friends & Influence People”

After reading this very enlightening book it brought out an adrenaline rush of emotions varying from, ‘ Wow, how come I am not doing that now ‘ or ‘ Just think if I had truly applied those principles consistently in my career and personal life’. This book is a “no-brainer” type read with information that most of the human either knows or should know yet the vast majority of us really don’t exercise for one reason or the other. To me, that is what makes this book genius. In a world with fast moving technology and short-cuts taken to communicate with each other, it is important for us to come back to the basics and apply these principles in every facet of our personal and business lives. This book has personally inspired me to really focus on applying these principles and consciously monitor myself and my actions. In my career, I deal with people’s livelihoods on a daily basis and I know it is important to build lasting relationships and treat people with the respect they deserve and desire. But….do I really know the tried and true principles on how to accomplish this. I thought I did until I read this book. (Several times actually) In my earlier life I grew up as a shy person that was out of my comfort zone if I had to be talkative and really go out of my way to introduce myself or carry on a conversation. I attribute this mostly to my relationship with my father as I was never really encouraged to express myself and talk openly unless I was asked to. My father was a very rigid blue collar type that thought that men who were talkative or expressed openness to others were too soft and not a real man. So….I grew up with this psyche that I should keep my mouth shut unless asked for an opinion. I have also come to learn that most people criticize each other to make themselves feel better which I see is a weakness in our own selves. I myself I am guilty as charged. I have recalled times where I have criticized someone close to me because I was unwilling to accept the fact that everyone is not like myself or nor should they be. It was a lack of willingness to sincerely understand the other person’s point of view and the fact that everyone is different and that is what makes people so great. I wouldn’t want everyone to be the same. That would be mundane and uneventful. After reading this book and meeting individuals who have made a lasting impression on me along the way in my adult life, I truly understand that my father’s philosophy was one bred from a lack of confidence and a feeling of having to maintain a tough exterior to be a man. I have seen myself evolve over the past decade in trying to change my father’s philosophy that he instilled upon me into one of a more daring and open approach to people without having that fear of rejection and failure cast over me. As I continue to move forward in my personal and professional life, it is simple. If a person can master the art of human relations they will become the richest person on the planet and I am not talking monetary value either. So, as I take important principles away from this book I will strive to focus on these important points:
Don’t Criticize others because they don’t agree with you or are different than you Learn to truly appreciate the difference in all us.
When dealing with people, make a sincere approach to find out what others want and need, not what you yourself wants
Make a strong effort to remember someone’s name and what their passions are, it will make you feel great
It doesn’t hurt to smile, it won’t make you soft, it will only make the day that much brighter